Grace, Faith, Religion

This is not meant to be an opinion piece, although there will surely be opinions. It is not meant to explore the depths of Grace, Faith and Religion, but some will be explored. It is really intended to share an experience from the past few months.

On the first day of this year a friend of mine lost her daughter to a long battle with cancer. This is not a super close friend but someone with a shared experience from last summer. She left an impact with her energy and her spirit that is so special. It is hard to describe to be honest but just an incredible woman in a lot of ways. Again, we are not very close friends, and I didn't know her daughter who passed at all. Never met. I do know another daughter, again a very little bit. The importance in knowing how these relationships are sort of peripheral is important as the impact this woman has had on me has been so great.

At the same time I have another much closer friend, actually family of friends, who are celebrating the 25th year since their Mother passed away from Cancer. This family, these people, have had a positive impact on me since I was a kid. Since long before their Mother died. One of the kids themselves (love calling people in their 40s kids!) has battled cancer twice and presents with a grace and dignity and love... it is truly incredible.

OK, back on to the point, I could get off track for long time on that. I can't explain how my heart hurt for these families. Some sadness for sure, but their Grace, their Faith is something that helps me quite a bit.

I struggle with faith. I always have. I love science, and am amazed by the universe and how it all comes together. I have always had a strong belief in God, in Universal Energy, in an all connecting spirit. When you stand high above Yosemite Valley and look down, and take it all in, the beauty can overwhelm. It is hard to not feel that with your spirit. I can look across that valley, thinking of John Muir and some of his essays and analyze the different physical experiences that created that valley. But I have never been able to separate the spiritual experience of that. The same feeling comes over me sitting on the ocean. Being on top of mountains, listening to great music, reading great works, transcribing musical thoughts written tens even hundreds of years ago, reading code written by people who are simply artists. To me, there is a common thread, and love, a peace, a God in those experiences.

I am horrified by atrocities carried out by 'people of faith'. I am disgusted by politicians and political groupies who hang their platforms on their 'religions' and then do horrible things. They marginalize people in horrible ways. When religion gives people an excuse to put other things in front of love, in front of peace, in front of understanding, I am lost. Believing that ones beliefs are in some way more valid or real than others (I get the obvious irony here!) hits me the wrong way and causes me to want to distance myself from my Church or that community. I have always, since a young kid, felt pushed away from my Church. I'm not a good conformist. I don't do what people want or say just because. I'm a cynic, I need evidence, I need to understand and believe before I commit.

I am blown away by people who can handle what seem to be the worst situations with a peace and love that not only seems to guide them but infects those around them. People who can suffer inside, clearly struggle with their situation and address the world with elegance and grace. I am blown away, possibly because I envy that. I don't have it, I don't feel it. When shit is bad for me, I feel like I have a hard time not wearing it on my sleeve. I would love to be able to handle all of my struggles with poise and grace.

Out of these three concepts, Grace, Faith and Religion. It seems clear to me that Grace is the most complex. Grace is what we say at dinner with the family, giving thanks for what we have and what we are about to receive. Grace is a divine assistance and spiritual renewal. Grace is a state of being, it is an act or even an exemption. It is also that trait we have seen in so many. It is a fluency, an effortless way to move through time and space.

Musically a 'grace note' is one that just subtly introduces or sets up the target tone. The subtle grace note is one that makes the listener think, something cool was just there but I'm not quite sure what it was. Grace has also been a title.

Whatever it is, it is powerful. Hearing a Mom and a Dad eulogize their daughter, in a service with such incredibly inspired music, such a powerful and moving sermon from a priest with a connection to his listeners that is inspired, empathetic, non-judgmental... This experience will stay with me for a while. Hearing my friend speak of her daughter and her spirit in an emotionally controlled yet expressive way was inspired. Seeing the family greet 1000 people after the service allowing them to share well wishes and condolences, wow, that looked hard. It is difficult to describe the impact or how it felt. I shed a lot to tears but left with so much hope and inspiration. This Mom, this woman, this Mother, is Grace, she is Graceful, she has been inspired by Grace and that is her gift to the rest of us.

Seeing my friends publicly show the love for their Mom who passed away 25 years ago. Share stories, pictures, memories. It shows so much grace. Their Mom was a very faithful person and lived a life, and lived through her illness with incredible Grace. People still tell stories of what an amazingly thoughtful, smart, and Graceful woman she was. That was her gift to her family and to the rest of us.

These three areas have been so top of mind lately and everything seems to have come together during the Funeral Mass Last week. Faith is our path to understanding of powers greater than us, of the Tao, of a Universal Spirit and connection. Faith allows us to believe in things that are unbelievable. Faith allows us to love those who hate us, be peaceful with people who are aggressive towards us. Faith gives us the courage and power to listen, to understand, to accept others and their beliefs. Religion, with all of the negative, give us a context, and community, a building to share experiences and celebrate our 'Faith' with a common lexicon. Grace is the gift we receive and it is the gift that comes through us to those around us.

I hope to live a more Graceful and Faithful life. Religion I get, but I can take or leave it. The walls around Religion and the us vs. them has always been my struggle. I do contribute and participate in my Religion and my Church, but my Faith defines me more than the organization. I am thankful for the gifts from my friends, needed gifts for sure.

Celebrating Veterans

Thank You!

Ronald Reagan said "Some people live an entire lifetime and wonder if they have ever made a difference in the world, but the Marines don't have that problem." I think it is easy to generalize that across all branches of the armed forces. And as Maya Angelou said "How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes!"

You are appreciated!

There have been issues with how Veterans have been treated, problems with the VA, homeless Veterans, Veterans struggling with PTSD, high suicide rates for Veterans and much more. These things are horrible and need to change from the bottom up, not the top down. That is true and something that most of us can agree upon. But today is "Veterans Day" not "Veteran's Day". It is a day that we the people of the United States of America, should pause and honor those people, celebrate those people, Men and Women, Black and White, Gay and Straight. It is not 'their' day it is 'our' day to celebrate them. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you very much for doing what you do. 

The Great Divide

My thoughts on this election

"Opinions are like bellybuttons, everyone has one, most are a bit gross and some have lint in them" -Einstein (it's in quotes, it must be true)

I had a friend ask me why he hadn't seen my opinion on Facebook regarding the election. He asked because we have had some discussions and shared opinions over the past few months and was curious how I felt. Secretly I think he wanted to get me fired up <g>. Trying to have an opinion that was clear and not clouded by emotion was difficult. Taking a day to think through the past year, read other's guttural reactions, talk with my wife, hear from my daughters and some other family and friends was important to me. Keeping it private until I really figured out what my thoughts were was important to me. I'm sure, like many of us, I have more processing to go through but I think I have a good handle on things. 

I had a sense for a while that Trump was going to win and that the Clinton supporters were overly optimistic. Created some interesting debates with my wife. It just felt like the raw emotion coming through his campaign was tapping into something so real and raw. No one won here other than possibly the process. The most positive thing that could happen is this forces us as a nation to refocus both the Democratic and Republican parties. Ronald Reagan supported some really great initiatives that did some environmental clean-up and set the path for more. Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, George Bush (both) Carter, and every president pretty much had both good and bad things they brought to our nation. They also all, everyone, had agendas that differed from ours. I have not heard of one person agreeing with everything on a President's platform. We do all see how some can wholly demonize Obama,  that some people will never admit anything positive coming out of Obama's presidency. Those people are as ignorant as the people who believe nothing out of Obama's administration can be bad. 

We put up Donald Trump in a Presidential race against Hillary Clinton. This is nothing we as a nation should be proud of. We should be proud that our presidential race was between a woman and an outsider. That is good, a woman to show that as a nation we are getting over the male driven government limitations, and an outsider to shake up the status quo. Both of those things can be positive. Unfortunately we delivered into those roles two super polarizing people. 

In the spirit of full disclosure, as I want to write down these thoughts in a non-biased or confrontational way, I did not support Donald Trump one bit. I think he is vile, disgusting and does not represent me as an American. He is an embarrassment. The only time I actually liked him, for entertainment purposes, is during the first season of the apprentice. The show was funny in an uncomfortable kind of way, his persona fit the show like a glove. He was a cartoon character. What seems clear to me is that he is that persona, he is that character, he is gross, over the top and now he will be our President. That scares me, but... he will be our next President so...

First Things First

Congratulations to President Elect Trump and those of you who supported him. That was a very hard 18 months and you won, hard fought and you won. 

I'm not happy that it did not go the direction I wanted but the system worked as it was designed. Democrats, we failed. Both parties have a lot of work to do to fix and repair what is broken. But this time through the 'neo-Replublican' party, not the Republican party that I usually disagree with but respect but this new one, won. 

Social Media

I have a damn, and I mean damn (Twain said to write this way and the editor would fix it), broad spectrum of friends, family, and work acquaintances in my social connections. Lot's of them and lot's of varied opinions. I have only 'unfriended' two people over the past many years of social media and it was solely for blatant racist rants. I have re-friended one of those two people. I have silenced a few, meaning I don't see their noise on my newsfeed, but we remain connected. I have never wanted to silence those that have different opinions than I do, mostly because I have often felt silenced in my life regarding my opinions. When your feed is filled with Selfies, pin-ups, memes in excessive amounts well it just creates noise and I have created a few filters. I also learn a lot from my friends who have different opinions than I. Probably learn more from them than from those who are more aligned with my opinions.

Over the past day I have seen, on my feed, that some of my connections who supported Trump's election are gloating, picking fights, accusing the others of whining, and going on and on and on about how the 'other side' lost, is wrong, failed, blah blah blah. Not all of them for sure, actually quite a minority but noticeable. Not a problem, expected to be honest, but in my feed it is pretty blatant. I most like my friend whom I have known for 15 + years who seems to always start his post with "I'm not trying to be political..." or "I'm not trying to be mean..." or "I love Muslim people but..." ugh... STFU (Mom, if you are reading this, don't look up that acronym!)

On the flip side, I have a few super conservative friends who may say things or have opinions that piss me off but they are articulate, clear in thought, have rationale for their positions and try not to alienate. They also have personal experiences that are so admirable that it is important to honor them and acknowledge their opinions, even if I don't agree. 

I know that not all Trump supporters are racists, but many are. I know that not all Hillary supporters are blind followers, but many are. I know that few people have taken the time to read Trumps real positions, few have. I know that very few people have actually read emails uncovered in WikiLeaks, few have. I know that half of our country thinks one way, and half of our country thinks another. The vast majority of people I talk to, work, church, community, are centrist. Their opinions don't fit in the conservative camp or the liberal camp. (I'm purposefully leaving out the few vocal anarchists that I'm connected with, for now). We are a centrist population controlled and governed by extremes. Our two parties do not represent. Some may say that haveing the popular vote split pretty much down the middle is good, some may say its not. Just because someone is a loud conservative doesn't mean they represent the 'conservatives'. Just because someone is a loud liberal doesn't mean they represent the 'liberals'. Can we take back the words 'conservative' and 'liberal'? They used to mean something.

If you use the term 'Libtard', 'Conservaturd', or any other nonsense that you find funny, your opinions are almost automatically discounted. Time to grow up a bit and realize that the world if full of, America is full of, people with different opinions, thoughts and backgrounds. And those differences are some of what makes this the most amazing country in the world. 

Issues

I am pro-life... (this may surprise some but keep reading) I am, always have been and likely always will be. Pro-life to me is very personal. I don't wish for war, my heart hurts when I hear of soldiers and civilians dying or getting wounded protecting our country and our constitution (Pro-life). I don't think the death penalty is an answer, killing people in retribution for their 'sins' is a super strange concept to me and allowing the government to pull the lever hurts my sole (Pro-life). I don't like to see people suffer from illness and disease. I think healthcare is a right for people in a civilized world and seeing people who have 'less access to care' because they have 'less $$$' sickens me (Pro-life). I don't like abortion but will support choice (Pro-life). Pro-life is so much more than the abortion issue, it is so much more than Roe vs. Wade, and yet people want to hang their hat there for some reason. Be pro-life, please, but be pro-life always live that way. If you are anti-abortion, great, if that is your thing and your passion and your fight great... but for most of the world being pro-life means so much more. Love life, respect life, honor life, all life.

I don't like seeing a government that looks blatantly bought and paid for, super wealthy getting away with crap that middle class and lower class people would not. I'm mostly confused here as having Trump lead that charge is such an oxymoron. His gold, lavish, gaudy, lifestyle is disgusting. But he says that he wants to clean up this swamp, and if some progress can be made here great. I also agree with the idea of term limits and this is something Trump says he will address, I can support that.

I support the 2nd amendment and believe that American's constitutionally should have the right to own firearms. I know there are opportunities to protect the 2nd amendment and apply reasonable controls. NRA puppets who believe this issue is completely black and white are missing the point. "Obama is going to take away your guns", "Clinton is going to take away your guns". UGH, stupid, stupid vitriol which is anti-progress and anti-life. There are discussions worth having here that protect the 2nd amendment and provide controls that make sense and are reasonable. 

I believe in civil rights. It is so clear that there are portions of our country that are marginalized. Women, minorities, people with disabilities, LBGT people. I have two daughters, super talented, smart driven daughters (I have a four year old son also, who will grow up as a white male). The results of this election won't limit them, it will empower them. They can be president, they can make a president or, they can go after whatever makes them happy. Knowing some of the future president's thoughts on women and girls sickens me. It won't limit them. There will always be people out there at every level of our world with antiquated ideas on gender roles, and it won't limit, it can't limit. Thinking locally for a moment, I have coached girls since about 2006 or so. I have heard some of the most sexist things that just make you shake your head. I've heard these things from both men and women. For some reason it is harder for me to hear from a woman a marginalizing perspective, makes me want to scream. But... some may say women pushed the election in Trump's favor. I believe many women who voted for Trump did so because they were convinced they could not vote for Clinton and they were able to compartmentalize certain things to get through the difficult choice. I don't fault them for that in any way. 

I support the police and know that Black Lives Matter, and the BLM movement is important. I know that growing up black in our country is different than growing up white. People who don't know this or don't think it is a factor in so many things are just turning a blind-eye to a festering wound on our communities. There are amazing law enforcement officers, and there are horrible ones. There are amazing BLM advocates and there are some horrible ones. There are amazing teachers and horrible, politicians, medical professionals, athletes, Christians, Catholics, Jews, Muslims. Every corner of our society, every subset has all parts of the spectrum covered. Some great, some horrible, most keeping everything balanced in the middle.

I support freedom of speech, thought and religion. As a football fan (go Pats!) I have had my opinion on different players from different teams. Those opinions are typically about how they play football, the persona they try to portray and how they show up on the field. I like Richard Sherman for a lot of reasons, smart guy, passionate, always leaves it on the field and more. I was critical of him a few years ago because of how he presented himself in a certain situation and was slammed for my opinions of him. I love the Baltimore Raven's (still have a warm place in my heart for Baltimore) not a fan of the noise from Ray Rice a couple of years ago, ugly and the situation made people ugly. All about football... and players... but... I do not like Kaepernick's football persona. His right to choose to kneel during the national anthem is his right. Demonizing him for that is just silly and it shows how little we can be as a society. I think we can agree that his action succeeded in something. A lot of discussions happened, some of them actually healthy, around the topic of racism, the BLM movement, what free speech is and more. He took a metaphorical stand and I support his right to do that. (He still is a pretty lame QB).

I believe in the Electoral College and the process we have to choose the President. It didn't work in my favor this time, but that does not mean it didn't work as it was intended. 

I love America, I love being American and all of the freedoms it provides me. I am a middle class white male, so the privileges I have are surely more obvious than they are for some others, I can't apologize for that it is what it is. I will do my best to contribute where I can to my community to make it a better place. I will try to speak up when I see people being marginalized. I will support our government when it truly represents the people, I will not support isolationism, cronyism, racism, fascism, thisism, thatism... (sorry got side tracked "all we are sayin'... ").

Some Wrap-up

The system just did what it was supposed to do. Donald Trump will be our next President. For half of us that is super hard to say out loud. For the other half they are so very happy with the result. It is our reality. There can be, as is common for any presidency, both good and bad coming from this new reality. Let's help support the good and actively oppose the bad. Get some term limits in, fix issues with healthcare, limit government spending but keep important services that are meaningful, improve education and elevate American's, especially young American's, on an international stage. Protect the Constitution but let it be a living document as it was intended. Life today is very different than it was 250 years ago. America is great, we have our issues, we need to come together to fix those issue, we do not need to continue to separate more. I'm trying to stay positive and focused on what I may be able to do, what my kids may be able to do, to contribute, to make the world a better place every day. 

Peace!